


Many Returns

by Pathryn34



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse world, F/M, Grief Stricken Sam Winchester, Other, They/them Castiel, god jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:21:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28752822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pathryn34/pseuds/Pathryn34
Summary: Jack wants to set Creation to rights after Chuck destroyed the other worlds. So he enlists the help of his dads, Sam and Cas, to get people from other worlds back to where they belong.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester/ Castiel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Help Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the world of After and Yet Before, after Dean has passed away and Cas came back in a female vessel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack wants his dads help.

Sam and Cas were researching home improvement ideas on the dining room table, in the newly refurbished dining room. Sam enjoyed these quiet moments. He always loved researching even when Dean…. Dean. The ever present pain of losing Dean roared back to life. Suddenly, memories of researching with Dean played through Sam’s head. Dean whining that he had to do research, pretending to sleep, pretending to find things, yet honestly being one of the best co-researchers that Sam ever had, often finding the breakthrough piece of information. 

Sam fought back tears as he thought about never researching with Dean again. He looked over at Cas, who was engrossed in a magazine, a fine hand caressing the pages carefully, in a way that made Sam envy pages. 

Cas was another of his favorite co- researchers. They were so intent and studious. And Cas never complained no matter what they were asked to research. And Cas didn’t continually ask for breaks or sneak pictures of Sam while he studied. Yes, he would always miss Dean, but having Cas helped. 

Suddenly, a glow filled the room distracting Sam from his contemplation of Cas. Before he could see Cas turning to look at him in concern. 

Jack. 

Sam and Cas looked up in awe at their child turned Almighty. Jack smiled back at his parents. 

“I could use your help,” Jack intoned in his sweet, innocent way. 

“How can we help?” Cas was the first to reply. 

Sam was too busy staring. He had missed Jack so much. After losing Dean, he had wanted to pray to Jack, just to not be alone. But he knew Jack was busy. And yet, suddenly, Jack was here. 

“May I hug you?” Sam had to ask. He knew it wasn’t the appropriate time. But he had missed Jack too much not to.

“I’d like that,” Jack replied. And Jack was soon engulfed in Sam’s strong arms. 

Sam tried not to cry. He really did. But he missed his family. His brother, his child. He was just so lucky Cas had come back. 

Cas was watching them. Sam had been the one to always believe in Jack. And was there for him even when Cas couldn’t be. Sam was the one who saved Jack from Billie’s plan. And now they were hugging. The mutual intense love palpable. So Cas joined in. Wanting to be a part of the love, worrying slightly that they wouldn’t be allowed. 

Cas shouldn’t have worried. Sam, feeling Cas nearby, wrapped them into the hug, as well. And there they stood. A family briefly reunited… but missing one. 

Sam reluctantly broke the hug and stepped back. 

“As Cas asked, how can we help you, Jack?” Sam finally inquired. 

“I want to return the people to their universes,” Jack stated. “But I want to discuss it with them first.”

Sam was dumbfounded by the immense power his once child now held. He had watched as Jack restored all the living things back on earth as though nothing ever happened… but recreating whole universes? It was astounding. 

“What do you need us for? Not… not that we won’t help. I’m just wondering what we can do?” Sam finally managed. 

“They trust you. I need you to be my emissary,” Jack replied. 

“Of course, I’ll call Bobby. He can help,” Sam started planning how to best go about getting the people from Apocalypse World together. 

“And the Sam and Dean from the other world. We need to return them too,” Jack included. 

Hearing Dean’s name, but it not being his Dean, knocked the breath from Sam. That Sam still had his Dean. And Sam knew he would never have his in this life again. 

Because, here in front of him was the new God. He could just ask. Just beg for Dean back. Jack could restore whole universes. It would be easy for him to bring back Dean. 

Except… Sam promised. Sam promised he wouldn’t try. Sam promised it was okay. 

So, Sam was doomed to live the rest of his life in agony without his Dean. And yet the other Sam got to keep his. Sam couldn’t help but envy him. 

“Dean’s happy, Sam.” Jack’s voice cut into Sam’s thoughts. “He misses you, but he’s happy. When the time comes, you’ll be together again.” 

Tears slipped from Sam’s eyes. Time. That’s all that separated them. Time. Sam absent mindedly rubbed Dean’s watch. 

Cas, as they did everytime they knew Sam was in pain, put a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder. 

“I can go with Jack to talk with them, if you’d like, Sam,” Cas offered. “You don’t have to…”

“No… no. Thank you, but I can do this. I want to help.” Sam replied as he put a hand over Cas’ and stared into Cas’ eyes. 

Neither noticed Jack smile at the exchange. His dads together, supporting each other, loving each other. Neither one knowing how very much the other loved them, but choosing to stay just the same. It was beautiful. 

Sam cleared his throat, “I’ll call them.”

——

The hug had been unexpected, but it was what Sam needed. 

As soon as Sam had explained why his Dean wouldn’t be joining them, the other Dean had pulled Sam into a tight hug. 

Sam fought his tears and chose instead to enjoy the embrace. Because, though it was different, it was the last hug from a Dean he was likely to get…. unless he had a son. 

The other Winchesters were going back to their world today. Jack had restored it to before Chuck had destroyed it. All it needed was Sam and Dean back. All Sam had had to do was call and they raced to be able to go home. 

“Good luck,” Sam said as Dean stopped the hug and they both stepped back. Dean returning to his Sam’s side, and Sam returning to Cas’, where Cas interlocked their hands and fingers. 

“Will we need luck?” The other Sam inquired, worriedly.

“No. The world will start just as it was before. The only ones that will know what happened is you,” informed Jack. 

“Well, that sounds just fine,” the other Dean commented. “Ready, Samuel?”

“Ready,” replied Sam. 

They said their goodbyes and held hands as they stepped through the portal. The rift closing as soon as they were safely on the other side. 

And just like that… 

The world had only one Sam Winchester. 

And no Dean Winchester.


	2. See Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do the Apocalypse World people want to do?

Getting in touch with the refugees from Apocalypse world was a bit harder. Simply because there were so many. Not that they weren’t eager to hear what Sam had to say. He had saved them yet again, just like he had promised to. 

Bobby was the first to arrive, as always. His presence reminded Sam what Cas had informed him about his Bobby. That he was free from Heaven’s jail. Sam had felt so much guilt over Bobby having to suffer for him. But Cas wanted to ease Sam’s guilt and let him know that Bobby was happy in Heaven. With Dean. 

Grief grabbed Sam by the throat and threatened to steal all his air. The pain of losing Dean was still so fresh… but it was going to be a constant agony Sam knew. There really is no getting over losing someone who was so vital to your existence. There is just learning to live with pain and carrying on. 

Sam swallowed forcefully and painfully before greeting his friend. A friend that, if all went according to plan, he would be saying goodbye to too. But it wasn’t about him. These people deserved a choice. 

“Bobby, thanks for coming,” Sam said shaking Bobby’s hand. 

“Of course, Sam. You’re still the boss. We owe you big time. But what’s this all about. You didn’t say over the phone.”

“Sorry about that. He wanted to tell you all at once,” Sam explained. 

“He who? Dean? Where is Dean by the way?” 

Bobby’s innocent questions were like a punch in the gut. All the air leaving Sam’s lungs in a whoosh to be replaced by agonizing pain. 

Sam was so overwhelmed with sadness he was at a loss to respond. 

Then suddenly, with a rustle of wings, Cas was at Sam’s side placing a comforting hand on Sam’s arms. They had been inside, setting up for the Apocalypse World people when they had felt Sam’s painful longing. Cas’ comforting presence and quiet support was all Sam needed to reply. 

“Dean’s g-gone, Bobby. It … it happened on a hunt.”

Bobby’s face lit with sudden understanding. Bobby knew that grief. 

“Did you get what killed him?” Bobby asked. 

“Yes, sir. Before Dean died, in fact,” Sam forced himself to answer. 

“Good,” is all that Bobby commented before going inside. Sam knew Bobby was going to spread the news. And though Sam was not looking forward to the pitying stares, he was grateful to not have to repeat those awful words. 

“Are you okay, Sam?” Cas inquired softly. “I felt your pain as you called out to me.” 

“I called out to you?” Sam asked, confused. 

“Maybe not intentionally, but I feel your longing,” Cas explained. 

Sam suddenly understood, for he longed for Cas often, but especially when the grief got overwhelming. 

“Sorry,” Sam winced. 

“Why?” Cas asked. 

Sam had no answer for that. Instead he cleared his throat and suggested,

“We should get inside, Jack will be appearing soon.” 

Cas just nodded and they went inside together. 

Sam reintroducing Cas to everyone, explaining that Cas’ old vessel had been destroyed. 

Charlie was intrigued about angel gender and their thoughts on the genders of their different vessels. But, unfortunately, there wasn’t time for more conversation on the matter. 

After everyone was ready, Sam went to a makeshift stage to address the room. 

“Thank you all for coming. I know you all have your own lives, but this is something you had to hear directly. Now, I know you all remember I was trying to protect you from Death … because I thought she was sending you back to your universe. A universe God had destroyed. But, it wasn’t Death that was after you. … It was God.”

Stunned silence was all that met this pronouncement, so Sam continued. 

“But we … We defeated God. M-my brother Dean, Jack and I were able to trick him and steal his power. That power now resides in Jack.”

Suddenly, a bright light filled the room. 

“Hello,” Jack greeted, his right hand raised. 

There were audible gasps from around the room. They knew Jack was powerful. And that he protected them. But the light that fell over the room felt divine. Jack intentionally letting them feel his presence so they would believe what Sam was going to say next.

Sam took a moment to enjoy the light. It was warm and comforting. It felt like love. Pure love.

But, recovering quickly, Sam went on with the crux of the matter. 

“Jack has restored your world to the way it was before God destroyed it. He is offering to take you back there.” 

Murmuring broke out through the crowd followed by shouted questions, 

“Won’t the angels kill us?”

“What about the monsters?”

“Are there any humans left?”

“Is there anything really to go back to?” 

“Will you come with us?”

The last question was spoken by Bobby. And it soon echoed throughout the room. 

Sam looked helplessly at Cas for a moment. He didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to go back to the world that … And he saw almost an identical look in Cas’ eyes, but then he glanced at Jack. 

Jack had asked for his and Cas’ help. And he wasn’t about to let his child down … again. He looked at Cas in silent communication. And only spoke on Cas’ nod. 

“If you want Cas and I to accompany you to assure you everything is safe, we will,” Sam promised looking to Jack to make sure that was okay. He felt more than heard Jack’s approval. 

More murmuring. 

“I suggest a vote,” offered Sam. But please know anyone who wants to go can go, and anyone who wants to stay is welcome.” 

Sam left the stage with Jack and conversations broke out across the room. 

“Do you think that worked?” asked Cas. 

“No idea,” replied Sam truthfully. 

Jack just smiled enigmatically. 

Soon, Bobby’s voice rang out. 

“We’ve come to a unanimous decision…. We’re going back . That was the deal when we left anyway, and we want to see it through.” 

Sam stood tall as he addressed the crowd, shoving down all misgivings he had about returning to that other world. 

“Alright, then, let’s get you all home.”


	3. Free Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Apocalypse World.

The sun shone brightly at the rendezvous point. The people from Apocalypse World had been given time to get ready to return to their world. 

As the people started to arrive, Sam looked down at Cas, who seemed oddly transfixed on Sam for a moment. 

“Is there something wrong?” Sam felt compelled to ask. 

“There’s nothing wrong. I just never noticed how very visually pleasing your eyes are before now,” Cas explained. 

“Oh,” was all Sam could think to reply, blushing slightly. 

The moment was broken by the arrival of Jack and Bobby. It was odd seeing them together. There was a time not too long ago that Bobby wanted to kill Jack. But, things were different now. 

“We’re ready,” announced Bobby. 

Sam wasn’t. There were horrible memories from that place. It wasn’t remembering dying, though that was bad enough. It was remembering he owed his life to Lucifer. And all the pain that had caused. 

But he and Dean, they had swore they would guide them back home. Since Dean wasn’t here, that left it to Sam. 

And that was what hurt the most. He was going back without Dean. 

“And if we die, we’ll do that together, too.” 

Only Sam had failed that oath. Dean was gone. And Sam had promised him that he would keep living. 

Sam surreptitiously put his hand over his heart where Dean promised he would always be. 

The agony of grief was intense. But the small gesture brought Sam strength. He couldn’t break down or let the people who needed him see him cry. 

Cas, of course, noticed. But they said nothing. Cas just put a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder. 

“Okay, then,” Sam spoke with more conviction than he felt, “let’s go.” 

Jack opened the portal back to the other world with ease. Sam ruefully remembered how he and Dean had struggled for months to find a way to open a portal to save Mom. 

Mom. 

She was gone now, too. Though the pain of her passing was not as sharp, it still stung. 

But she was happy in Heaven. Both her and Dean were. And that gave some small comfort. … Small being the operative word. 

Sam volunteered to be the first one to cross over. He trusted Jack. And needed the others to, as well. 

Cas would accompany him, of course. They refused to let Sam go alone. 

Sam was now used to the rough landing and quickly found his footing. Cas …. not so much. They almost fell on entry, but Sam caught them. 

Then Sam and Cas heard a rustle of wings and were greeted by .…

Gabriel.

“Sup, bro,” Gabriel said cheekily as ever. “Sam.”

Cas squinted and cocked their head to the side, “Gabriel?” 

“Wait. I thought Michael killed you,” Sam said confused. 

“Well, hello to you, too.” Gabe rejoined. 

“H-hello?” Sam stammered. 

He wanted to say more but the rift behind him flared and he knew he had to get out of the way. 

So, he stepped toward Gabriel with Cas quickly following, just in case Gabriel wasn’t here on the friendliest of terms. For all Sam knew, this wasn’t the Gabriel from his world and therefore an unknown entity. 

Behind Sam, he felt the others arrive. Gabriel, Cas, and Sam turned to watch silently as everyone came through. 

Bobby and Jack brought up the rear, the rift closing behind. 

Sam experienced a brief pang of panic. How would Cas and him get home? But he knew he could count on Jack and relaxed. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Gabriel called to Jack. 

“Hello,” replied Jack. 

“See, now was that so hard?” Gabriel eyed Sam and Cas pointedly. 

“Gabriel, what are you doing here? How are you here? Did you use another double?” Sam asked, uncaring of Gabriel’s censure. 

“Actually, that was me,” Jack chimed in. “When I was rebuilding this world, I brought back Gabriel. He was kind to me and the angels here needed a good leader.” 

“I still say your belief in me is misplaced. But I’m willing to give it a shot,” Gabe stated, then looked at Cas, “After all, your dad believed in me once upon a time.”

Cas stepped forward and grasped Gabriel into a hug. 

“I still believe in you. I’m so glad you’re alive.” 

“Shut up,” Gabe grumbled emotionally. 

They ended the hug. 

“So, what’s the plan, Jack?” Sam asked. 

“I think we should set up a camp nearby. There is a clearing a few miles that way,” Jack explained. 

“Lead the way,” Sam suggested. 

And, they headed out. With Gabriel, Bobby and Jack at the front, Charlie in the middle, and Sam and Cas bringing up the back. 

The problem with walking is that it gives you time to think… to remember. 

And just as Sam knew they would, the painful memories started replaying in his head. He felt the vampire rip out his throat. He remembered calling for Dean. 

Dean. How he wished Dean was here. The pain of his absence caused tears to form. 

Dean had always protected him and supported him. Dean was always there when he needed him. But not anymore… and never again. 

Sam had promised Dean that he would be okay. He had released Dean of the burden of having to always be there for Sam. And he wasn’t going to let Dean down. Not again. Not ever again. 

Sam rubbed his heart where Dean said he would always be. 

“I promise, Dean,” he vowed silently. 

But, that didn’t mean he didn’t wish Dean was there to hug him and tell him he had nothing to be sorry for. 

Because the guilt was heavy. 

Lucifer. 

The rage and remembered pain that name evoked. 

Lucifer had brought Sam back to use to get close to Jack. The shame still lingered. He hadn’t had a choice. But it made his skin crawl with remembrance. 

Then his mind played every thing that had happened because of that. 

Jack losing his powers to Lucifer. Jack dying. Jack losing his soul. Jack killing … 

And Dean. Dean had been possessed and tortured my Michael. All for Sam. 

Sam was so lost in his thoughts. It took him a while to realize that Cas was acting oddly. 

They looked like Sam felt, filled with shame and regret. 

“Cas?” Sam inquired gently, “Is something wrong?”

Tear-filled beautiful blue eyes met his, and his suspicions were confirmed though Cas said nothing, just stared at Sam for a moment and looked down at the road. 

Sam was wise enough not to press. But he wondered what was making his angel cry. And if there was anything Sam could do about it. 

Maybe it was seeing Gabriel again. Maybe Cas felt bad about Gabriel dying for all of them while Cas had gone to a different world. 

Maybe Cas was missing Dean, as well. After all, they did love him. Cas said as much when he had almost died by Ramiel. 

But until Cas was ready to talk about it, all Sam could do was offer support. So, he gently moved his hand for Cas to hold if they wanted to. 

Almost immediately, their fingers interlocked. And Cas squeezed gently. Sam squeezed reassuringly back, and he swore he saw a tear fall. 

But he didn’t press as they continued to walk.

—- 

At the campsite, Sam and Cas set up their tent. Sam had offered to help Cas set up their own tent, but Cas had quietly asked to share with Sam. Sam tried to hide his joy at the idea, but wasn’t entirely sure he was successful. 

He was so grateful for Cas. This journey was tolerable because they were here.

He loved Jack, but Jack had other concerns, so Sam didn’t bother them. 

And Cas’ strange sadness distracted him from his own. Which, though he wished Cas wasn’t sad, was helpful. 

After the tent was set up, it was time to place sleeping bags. 

When Cas made it where they shared a double, Sam felt a stirring in his body. 

Ever since Sam had confessed to Cas a few weeks ago, they had been … intimate... numerous times. 

But, still, he didn’t want to assume anything. It was usually only when Sam was especially sad. A way to distract him. 

Like the night after the people had decided to return and wanted Sam and Cas to accompany them. Cas had offered Sam a massage and it turned into a very happy ending for both of them. 

But even though Sam was feeling his grief more keenly, Cas seemed a little too distracted to notice. 

So the shared sleeping bag probably was just to save space in the tent. 

They rejoined the group around the fire. Sam experiencing a pang when he realized how many fewer there were than when they left. 

Michael had slaughtered them because Sam had failed to protect them. 

Yet, still, they trusted him. 

They smiled as he approached. 

Bobby called to both he and Cas to sit nearby. 

“Gabriel was just explaining how he has changed the angels. Even said they would help rebuild …”

“But, you’re not ready to trust them,” Sam surmised. “I understand.” 

“Yeah…” Bobby replied. 

“What about Jack?” Cas chimed in. “Do they trust him?”

“Absolutely. But … he’s not going stay forever,” Bobby pointed out. 

“That’s true,” Cas acknowledged. 

“And rebuilding… it’s a big job.” Bobby explained. “There’s beginning to be some concerns.” 

“We’ll figure it out.” Sam reassured with much more confidence than he felt. 

Sam was willing to stay as long as necessary, but he wanted to get back before too long. Jody and the girls were taking care of Miracle. But, he didn’t want to impose for too long. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the handing out of rations. 

The conversations turned more jovial as everyone ate and drank, but Cas was quiet. 

Sam was worried. But he knew better than to ask in front of all these people. 

Sam wished Dean were here. The agony returned with a vengeance. 

Dean was the leader. 

Dean had the ideas. 

Dean knew how to solve the problems. 

They were a team, better together. And now… they weren’t together anymore. 

His painful thoughts were interrupted by sudden screams. 

He jumped up and pulled his gun. 

Cas was immediately by his side, angel blade at the ready. 

“Vampires!” Someone shouted. 

Sam readied to fight. 

Cas paled, looked furtively at Sam, then their face hardened. 

“Gabriel!” Called Sam, “Can you call some angels to help?”

“On it!,” Gabriel replied quickly. 

Everyone circled up ready to fight. 

Sam hoped that the angels helping would allay some of the people’s fears about trusting them. 

Just then, the nest of vampires broke through the trees. 

There were so many of them. 

Sam pushed down the traumatic memory of the teeth ripping out his throat. 

Them dragging him away… 

The last thing he saw as his vision faded was Cas running after him, calling his name. 

As soon as the vampires attacked, Sam and Cas fought back to back. 

Charlie had thrown Sam a machete and he made good use of it, felling vampire after vampire. He felt Cas easily dispatch the vampires behind him. Never letting them anywhere near Sam. 

Suddenly, rustling was heard. 

Angels. 

They worked with the people to quickly kill all the vampires. Leaving no survivors. 

They stayed long enough to help clean up. But the feelings were … tense. Especially from the humans. 

As soon as they were done, the angels bowed their heads respectfully and vanished. 

Sam had hoped working together might help, but it seemed to have almost the opposite effect. 

He heard whispers throughout the camp. 

“We have to depend on them?”

“What if they don’t come if we call?” 

“We’ll be dead in days.” 

“How can we rebuild if we’re always worried about being attacked?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” 

“I want to go back.” 

Sam looked at Jack. He knows Jack heard because he looks so sad. 

He looked to Bobby and Gabriel who seemed completely at a loss. 

And then there was Cas, who looked traumatized. And Sam had no idea why. He had to ask. .. but not now. 

“Jack, Bobby, Gabriel… we’ll figure this out. Maybe things will look better after some rest.” 

Sam turned around to ask Cas if they were ready to go to the tent, but Cas was already gone. 

“Maybe you’re right,” offered Bobby, not sounding convinced. 

Sam, completely forgetting his child was now a cosmic deity, put a comforting hand on Jack’s shoulder. 

“I promise. We’ll figure it out. What you’re doing is good.” 

Jack stared into Sam’s eyes soulfully and nodded. 

“Gabriel?” Sam called. “Thank you for your help tonight.” 

“Of course, Sam.” Gabriel replied still looking worried. 

Sam waved goodbye and turned to walk toward the tent he shared with Cas. 

Only to find Cas had grabbed the extra sleeping bag and was getting ready to leave as Sam entered. 

“Cas? What’s happening?” Sam asked, but already fearing the worst. 

“I’m leaving. I’ll go be … elsewhere.” Cas answered without emotion. 

Sam’s world shattered. The breath was knocked out of him. He knew this was always a possibility. Cas would leave. Why wouldn’t they? 

After all, what was Sam to a being like Cas? Especially after what happened last time they were here. 

He just didn’t understand…

“Why? Why now?” the question escaped Sam heartbrokenly. 

Beautiful blues eyes… wet with unshed tears met his. 

“Because it’s all my fault.”


	4. Satisfaction Guaranteed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting things right.

“What?” Sam asked incredulously. “What’s your fault?”

“Everything… Well, not everything. But Lucifer… and what happened to you. I just keep remembering…” Cas looked down as they spoke. 

“What, Cas? You’ve been acting oddly since…. we came back here. Maybe before. Please tell me. What’s wrong?”

“I keep remembering when you died.” 

Cas said it with such profound emotion, Sam was taken aback. 

“I- … I didn’t realize you were affected. You didn’t…” Sam let his words trail off. Sam had been too busy then to really think about how much it hurt him that Cas hadn’t seemed to care. But, he explained it away as Cas was worrying about Lucifer and Jack. After all, so was Sam. 

Cas jerked their head up to look at Sam with tear filled eyes. 

“You thought I didn’t care? That I didn’t care that you died?” The words were tinged with intense sadness. 

“I… we were busy… I just assumed that it didn’t matter. Since, I was back anyway. And then we had to worry about Lucifer. And Michael. I didn’t expect…” Sam stumbled over his words. Fearing every one was the wrong one. Every one might be the one to drive Cas away. 

“I couldn’t bring you back.” The words spilled forth like a confession. “I tried my hardest. I tried too hard. I became weak from it. And I still couldn’t … and then the vampires descended… so many … they didn’t want my blood … I smell wrong… but they forced me away from you.. I couldn’t even take your body back.”

Tears were streaming down Cas’ face as they continued. 

“And I didn’t know what to do. I knew they would kill Dean.. and I knew you would want me to save him.. so I said some nonsense about not having time. Anything to keep him safe.” 

Cas took a deep painful breath. “I left you. And because I left you. Lucifer got to you. He used you. He hurt you yet again. And it was all my fault. After what I said to you in the kitchen. … I’m sorry, Sam. I’m so sorry. That’s why I’m leaving you. So I won’t hurt you again.” 

Sam strode across the short distance that separated them, and engulfed Cas into a hug. Feeling deep relief when Cas hugged back. 

“Cas,” he breathed like a prayer. “It’s not your fault. I never blamed you. I still don’t blame you. Thank you for trying to save me.”

“You always forgive me, Sam,” Cas cried into Sam’s shoulder, “Even when I don’t deserve it.” 

“Well, I’m in love with you. But this time… you didn’t do anything wrong. .. I did. I let Lucifer…” 

Sam’s words were cut off by Cas’ mouth on his. And Sam couldn’t help but return the kiss. 

Cas pulled back to wipe the tears on Sam’s face he didn’t know he shed. So, Sam returned the favor. 

“I’m glad you’re alive, Sam. You have no idea how much. You did nothing wrong. Lucifer would have found Jack anyway. Jack was curious about him, as you saw. But, at least you were alive again.” 

“Please. Please, don’t leave me, Cas,” Sam begged. Needing to have heard the words Cas had said. Needing their absolution. Needing Cas. 

“I’ll stay with you as long as you want me, Sam. I just thought you would be reminded of what happened, and you wouldn’t anymore.” 

“I’ll always want you, Cas,” and then Sam kissed Cas with all the love and desire in his heart. 

Then clothes were being shed in a need to feel… more. 

Sam lowered Cas to the open sleeping bag on the floor. Kissing his way down their body. 

They were so intent on each other, they didn’t realize the lantern in the tent was still on. Casting their silhouettes on the tent canvas, creating an erotic shadow puppet show for all in the camp to see. 

When Sam reached his goal, something inside of him snapped and he became almost feral. All the pent up rage, heartache, fear, and uncertainty he had been feeling and suppressing expressing itself in urgent, fast paced licks, suckles, and nibbles. 

Cas screamed at Sam’s ministrations. Their hands buried in Sam’s beautiful hair as Sam pleasured them with exquisite intensity. 

Sweat beaded across both their bodies as Cas started to come in quick succession as Sam refused to quit. 

Until a massive orgasm shook Cas’ body. Only then did Sam quickly adjust to plunge in to feel Cas spasm around him. The feeling of completeness and pleasure would always shock him. 

He never wanted it to end. So he slowed his pace slightly and turned his attention to the tips of Cas’ chest. Languidly lavishing for one then the other all while holding Cas’ hips up to plunge into them with a sensual rhythm. 

But soon that wasn’t enough for either of them, so their pace quickened until they were moaning and calling each other’s names. Sam made sure Cas came a few more times before finally letting himself explode into them. 

They collapsed panting. Neither aware they had had a small audience. 

— 

Later, after they had cleaned up, and lay back down to cuddle, the other sleeping bag now their covers, Cas drew figures through Sam’s chest hair with their fingers. 

Sam was spent. The day had been exhausting. So Sam kissed Cas on the head and wished them a good night. 

As he was drifting to sleep, he swore he heard Cas say, 

“You weren’t second place, Sam.” 

But he couldn’t actually be sure. 

—- 

Sam woke up with an idea. He didn’t know if it would work. If it was even possible. But it was worth asking about. 

Cas was cuddled up to his side with their hand on Sam’s chest feeling his heartbeat…

The painful memory of feeling Dean’s heart stop attacked suddenly and Sam couldn’t bite back the choked sob quickly enough. 

“Sam?” Cas’ gentle voice called. Breaking through the choking grief. 

“I .. I have an idea,” Sam forced himself to say as he intertwined his fingers with Cas. 

—- 

Sam and Cas were not expecting the looks they were getting as they left their tent to find Jack, Bobby, Gabe and Charlie. 

There were smirks, nods of congratulations, and even some very lascivious looks. 

Sam and Cas exchanged glances. 

“Why are they looking at us like that, Sam?” Asked Cas. 

“I don’t know, Cas.” Sam replied honestly. 

But Gabriel didn’t leave them in the dark long. 

“I thought I was the porn star, little brother, but that was some show last night,” Gabriel smirked. 

Sam felt the color drain from his face to be quickly followed by flame. 

“What do you mean by- oh,” Cas realized what had happened. However, they were not ashamed at all. Sam envied them. 

“Next, time, turn out the light,” grumbled Bobby. 

“Uh, sorry about that,” Sam apologized. 

“I had an idea about how to solve the problem of rebuilding,” Sam quickly changed the subject before anyone else could comment. “But I don’t know if it’s possible. I need your input, Jack. And then, everyone would need to vote.” 

“What is it, Sam?”

“Undo the Apocalypse… for the humans. Put everything back to the way it was. But the angels would still be under Gabriel. And the demons… are pretty much already gone. Is that even possible, Jack?”

“Yes. It should be. Technically, that was an intervention by Chuck…. Yes. Amara agrees. It is very possible. However, they will forget everything about your world. Mary, Cas, you… Dean,” Jack said the last word gently, knowing it would hurt, but having no choice. 

The idea of anyone not remembering his mom… who had fought for these people… was bad. But Dean… he deserved to be remembered and honored. 

But, it was up to the people. This was their lives. And Sam would never forget Dean. 

“Well, should we ask everyone?” 

“Wait a minute,” Charlie interrupted. “You mean to tell me you can just make it like the Apocalypse never happened? You can do that?” 

“Yes. You won’t even realize anything ever happened.” 

“What about families? Some of these people have had kids since the Apocalypse started,” Bobby interrogated. 

“They will still have their families. It will work out,” Jack reassured. 

“Okay, well we’ll ask,” Bobby said as he and Charlie left. 

Gabriel was still smirking at them. But stopped long enough to offer, “It’s a good idea. It will help with the angels, too.” 

—- 

Bobby and Charlie had polled and gathered everyone. 

They unanimously decided for it. Though they felt guilt for so easily being willing to throw away their memories of Sam and his family. 

Sam reassured them it was fine. And with the “show” they saw last night, he was more than okay with them not remembering … that. 

They quickly said their goodbyes, no one wanting to let themselves get to emotional, especially Bobby. 

Now it was up to Jack. Sam and Cas stood by as they watched their child, eyes glowing a yellow so bright it almost hurt to look. 

And then, everyone but Gabriel, Cas, Sam, and Jack were gone, along with all the tents and any sign anyone had been there at all. They were just in an empty clearing. 

Gabriel was the first to break the silence. 

“You did it. Holy crap. You did it.”

“Of course, I did,” replied Jack, unperturbed. 

“Can we go see them?” Sam asked. He had promised to get them back safe. And, though he trusted Jack, he felt honor bound to make sure. 

“Of course,” Jack assured as he snapped his fingers. 

And there was Maggie, across the street at a playground of a school with her class of kindergarteners. Sam smiled and squeezed Cas’ hand gently. Cas looked up knowingly. They hadn’t failed. 

“Thank you, Jack,” Sam breathed. “Thank you.” 

“It’s because of your suggestion, Dad,” Jack offered. “You were the one who suggested rewriting it as though the Apocalypse never happened. That saved … billions.” 

“Oh,” Sam responded, thinking that made sense now that he thought about it. 

Cas just looked on with pride. Gabriel in awe. 

Jack then took them to several places to show them the lives of several of the AU people. Everyone that had families, found their spouse and had their children. Jack was very thorough. 

Next, was Kara’s bakery with Charlie blissfully typing away on her keyboard, stealing glances at her wife behind the counter. Their eyes locked and they smiled. 

Then Charlie saw Sam by the doorway. 

“I know you,” she said confusedly. 

“Me?” Sam asked, looking behind his shoulder certain it couldn’t be him. 

“Yeah, you. It’s weird, though. It’s like I met you before. But you were with this slightly shorter guy with shorter hair and green eyes.”

Grief, ever a low hum, slammed into Sam. 

Dean. 

She remembered Dean. 

“That’s my brother, Dean. He’s … he’s not here right now,” Sam managed to choke out. 

“Well, tell him I said hi. It was nice seeing you again,” she said before going back to working on her laptop. 

Sam bought a muffin for him and Cas, cupcakes for Jack and Gabriel as a cover, then walked out. 

On the street, Sam had to ask Jack, 

“They remember us? How?” 

“They dream of you. Vividly. I didn’t want them to forget you,” Jack answered. 

Sam could only stare. He was so filled with gratitude. 

“Thank you, Jack.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

Then the last one… Bobby. 

And though it was still a salvage yard, it looked, cleaner, well kept. 

Sam’s eyes began to water when he looked at Bobby’s house, though.

In his world, Bobby’s house was long ago destroyed by Leviathans. It had been a place of refuge. When he and Dean were growing up, and throughout their first Apocalypse and beyond. 

But it was gone, and so was Bobby. Though now he had hope of seeing him in the afterlife, this would be the last time he would see a Bobby in person. 

This house looked more like the version he had seen in Bobby’s dream. It was well kept and maintained. 

Sam tentatively knocked on the door, and a young man answered… Daniel. 

“Hi,” Sam managed. “Is Bobby Singer home? I wanted to see if I could find a part for my Chevy Impala.”

“Dad!” Daniel shouted back into the house. “You have a customer.” 

Bobby appeared from what would be the kitchen followed by someone that had Sam struggling to hide his emotional response. 

Mom. 

Of course, this wasn’t his mom. This was Mary Campbell of this world. She was older. The age she should have been. But still so beautiful, Sam had to blink back the tears. He felt a reassuring squeeze and looked down at Cas’ understanding eyes. 

“How can I help you?” Bobby’s voice was still gruff but happier, more at peace than Sam had ever heard. 

Quickly followed by, “Wait. I know you. Sam, right? Where’s your brother? Dean I think his name was?”

Sam swallowed down the pain. How he wished Dean could be here to see this. 

“Dean isn’t here right now. In fact, I’m here to get him a gift for his birthday. I need a carburetor for a 1967 Chevy Impala.”

“I think I have one of those. Let’s go, see,” Bobby offered. 

“Mary, Daniel, I’ll be right back,” And Bobby told theM before he led the way to the Salvage yard. 

The Impala Bobby had was red. Which Sam was grateful for. He didn’t think he could bear to take any part from a car that looked like Dean’s Baby. 

They quickly pulled the carburetor, paid for it, and walked back to the house. 

“It was nice seeing you, again,” Bobby commented while shaking first Cas’ hand then Sam’s.

Jack and Gabriel had pretended to go on. Seeing someone like Mary still hurt Jack. And he didn’t want to do it more than he had to. 

“Yeah, yeah, you too, Bobby,” Sam replied. 

“Thank you for everything,” Cas made sure to voice. 

“Well. You’re welcome,” Bobby said before continuing, “Tell that brother of yours to come see me sometime.” 

“I .. I will,” Sam forced himself to lie.

And with a nod to Mary, Daniel, and for the last time Bobby, they said their goodbyes. 

—- 

They met up with Jack and Gabriel a little down the road. 

“Well, it was great seeing you two boneheads again. And my favorite Cosmically powered nephew.” Gabriel intoned with his trademark wit. 

When suddenly, Cas grabbed him in a hug. 

“I love you, brother. Thank you.” Cas spoke heartfeltly. 

And Sam realized how hard this must be for Cas. Gabriel and Cas hadn’t ever had a chance to be close, but Sam couldn’t help but feel there was more love there than between most angels. 

Even Gabriel must have felt it, because instead of his typical glib response, he hugged Cas back and replied, 

“I love you, too, little brother. Thank you for believing in me. I won’t let you down.” 

“I know you won’t,” Cas then pulled back from the hug. 

Jack opened the portal back to their world. 

“I’ll be around Uncle Gabriel,” Jack reassured. 

Sam shook Gabriel’s hand goodbye. 

“I’m glad you’re alive, Gabriel. I know you’ll do well.” 

“Aw, shucks, Sam. You’re making me blush,” Gabriel countered, his usual humor back in place. 

With final nods, Jack, Sam, and Cas stepped through the portal back to Sam and Cas’ dining room. Where this, their last big cosmic adventure began. 

“Thank you for helping me, Dads,” Jack beamed, a soft smile of gratitude and love on his face. 

“Will we see you again?” Sam choked out, overwhelmed with all the goodbyes he’s endured. All reminding him of the goodbye that still hurt so intensely. 

“Perhaps,” Jack replied enigmatically. ”But I’m always with you regardless if you can see me. But in this form, I need to go. I promised I wouldn’t write myself into the story. And now that Chuck’s interference has been dealt with, I need to remove myself. But, one last hug?” 

Sam and Cas eagerly embraced their child. Thinking it would probably be the last time, they poured all their love and pride into it. 

After they finally let go, the raised their right hands to each other … and Jack was gone. 

Sam went to the new couch they had replaced the old dingy couch with and slumped into it. Cas followed and Sam put his arm around them. Enjoying the presence of one he loved. One who promised to stay. 

“I think that may have been my last big adventure,” Sam observed a little wistfully, but more gratefully. It had been too painful without Dean. 

“I think that’s how it should be, Sam. Now we can start our life together… if you still want to,” Cas offered haltingly. 

Sam leaned down to kiss Cas, letting them complete the distance, wanting to always make sure he was who they wanted. 

Cas eagerly complied and the kiss was filled with love, promises, and the future. And though, the pain of losing Dean would never go away. Sam relished the respite. 

“I definitely want a life with you, Cas. As long as you’ll have me.”

“As long as you want me, Sam,” Cas vowed. 

And they consummated their commitment to each other, right there in the living room where Sam confessed his love for Cas. 

And it was indeed satisfying.


End file.
